Friday, April 30, 2010


back hurts a bit for some reason.
I had to bail in the middle of a round yesterday because it hurt so bad.
gonna do some job searching today and maybe head over to a friends work party later. free BBQ and beer... dont think I can pass that up :)

Thursday, April 29, 2010

lost and found

lost my Buzzz ( it's a type of disc) playing last night.
but I went back this morning and found it AND an orc someone lost. no name or # on the orc of course.
silly humans.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

hump day disc.

so my car started , which was awesome because it saved me having to pay a tow truck to take it to my mechanic.
he said something that worried me a little, but we wont go into that.
borrowed moms car and came home planning to bunch up some branches to be taken to the curb for trash but a friend just text-ed me about playing some disc so I think that is the plan.
gonna be good to get outside in this beautiful day and throw some discs.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


so tomorrow I should be either driving my car to the shop in Dallas or having it towed there. hopefully driving it of course.
mom is going to let me use her car while mine is being fixed. gotta love moms.
did some yardwork today. edging and fertilizer and moved some branches that need to go to the curb tomorrow.
no drinking.
and I'm out of smokes so kinda freaking out.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

lazy sunday

doing laundry, some dishes. just made some pasta. arm hurts . depressed. almost out of cigarettes. bummer.
I may go out to the park since it's such a nice day, and try and sell a few discs.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Thursday, April 22, 2010


unintentionally perverted kids toys
that just made my day :)
went over to moms and she is fine. something is just wrong with the phone line.
that really made my day.
but the when I got home my ignition is stuck on my car. it wouldn't turn off or let me turn the ignition backwards at all.
I called a Saturn dealership that still exists and the guy wasn't much help. so I figured out how to pull off a connector under the hood that killed the motor, which still left the ignition in the on position so the battery was still running.
So then I had to figure out a way to disconnect the battery without having it set off my car alarm.
when I disconnected the negative terminal it shut down the ignition without setting off my alarm so thats done.
but it's gonna cost $350-500 that i dont have.
I'm fucked.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

what day is it?

Oh yeah, Wednesday.
didn't do much. felt like crap. depressed.
Scott called a few ago and is picking me up for some disc golf since I dont have any gas money :(
but it will be good to get outside.
I'm worried about my mom. her answering machine isn't picking up and my step dads phone goes straight to voice mail.
the last I heard from here was the 13'th, and it's weird for her not to answer the phone and I know they didn't go anywhere.
I'm going to have to call her apartment people tomorrow and ask them to check on her before I think about calling the police.
but it has me worried.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

After Monday and Tuesday...even the calendar says W T F.

Sorry I didn't post yesterday.
It would have been angry post.
I'm not sure how much longer I can take this again. something has to change, and it's not just suddenly going to happen. I can't wait for it.I have to make it happen.
I have an appointment this morning so wish me luck.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

something sunday

almost forgot to post today.
Didn't do much. rained all day and since I dont have any $$ I stayed home and played computer games all day.
I only drank 1 beer today. and only had 2 yesterday, so go me!!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

will wonders never start?

didn't do much today. raining off and on all day so....
tried to go out last night but didn't put much effort into it and everyone was busy it seemed.
got up and found out I had a problem with GLB so I figured out it was a Java update thing and fixed it.
played Civ IV most of the day.
made some rice and chicken and about to lay in bed a bit.
arm is feeling better but it's not fully healed yet.

Friday, April 16, 2010

why cant it be over.

I just want it to be over. but then when it is close to being over, I am afraid. you have no fucking idea what this is like. it is hell.

strange dreams

Very vivid. I dont know where I was but I noticed a small bug inside my cheek and when I reached in to pull it out I noticed a hole in the inside of my cheek.then somehow a yellow ball or "egg sack" started to push out from behind the hole. it was about the size of a large gumball and really hurt as it pooped out into my mouth. I was standing at a sink and spit it into the sink. I knew it contained eggs from whatever that bug was.
there were more "egg sacks" behind that one and as they started to push out a red LED light flashed in the mirror saying "remove 40 " . I was freaking out and after 30 or so of them came out from wherever in my body they came from I could hear an echoing sound to my own thoughts. almost like there was now a hollow space somewhere in my body or brain and I wondered where they all came from. then I woke up.
my arm hurts.
I went outside for my morning smoke and as I watched the dogs roam my thoughts wandered and for some reason I thought about the trip to Austin for the BBQ with my DAOC friends and the breakfast we all had the first day.
odd where thoughts come from sometimes.
I have to hang around the house today since the plumber is finally coming to fix dads toilet.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

nothing different.

woke up and had a few beers. checking my GLB stuff and surfing around a bit. trying to motivate to do some job apps. feel like shit as usual.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

day 1 of the rest of my misery.

welcome to my anonymity!

I'll make day 1 short and sweet. I woke up and found out I had my refund on my wal mart money card finally so went and got some gas and a few beers and went out to the park to play disc golf.
I was a tad buzzed so I got a red bull, and another beer.
but I had fun playing a round with some friends.

now I am home doing something I should have done a long time ago.
feeling sorry for myself as usual.

dont make me tell me story yet. wait for it.

and no, this is not who you think it is.